Tagged: Parsley Report

The Parsley Report – Armistice Edition

The Parsley Report is a light-hearted look at mental health through a series of fictional characters, intended primarily for children.

PARSLEY: How you doing, Freddie?

FREDDIE: I’m depressed.

FERN: Oh no!

PARSLEY: Better depressed than a raging beast! Cheer up, Freddie, Christmas soon!

FRUIT BAT: Have you forgotten me?

FERN: No, Fruit Bat, not at all. It’s just that we’ve been calming Freddie.

PARSLEY: Of course, even Freddie cares for the children, but it’s hard for him, with his condition.

FERN: Yes, Parsley, quite right. Anyone seen the others?

FRUIT BAT: I saw Smokie slink off to the flea market.

FREDDIE: Keep Smokie away from me. He gets me blind.

PROFESSOR PLUM: Interesting. I may research that relationship, Freddie, with your signature?

FERN: Not so fast, Prof. Freddie needs space.

PARSLEY: Quite right, Fern. Now, let’s calm down with tea and cake.

Parsley Report 13th May 2019.

[Note: The Parsley Report initially appeared on Twitter. It has been transferred to here due to my distrust of the Twitter platform.]

PARSLEY THE LION: Herb research re-engaged!
FERN: Beware Freddie, Parsley!
PARSLEY: Sent him packing.
GREENFEATHER: Nasty brute! A man called his child “Merciless” just after Freddie killed a man in The Ship! He said he was drinking and partying with women when a man had possibly jumped off Beachy Head.
FERN: So Freddie was right to rebuke!
PARSLEY: But he forgot! “Always protect the little children.” Rule number one for us, Fern.
GREENFEATHER: Quite correct, Parsley, and beware the Giants too!