The Parsley Report – Armistice Edition

The Parsley Report is a light-hearted look at mental health through a series of fictional characters, intended primarily for children.

PARSLEY: How you doing, Freddie?

FREDDIE: I’m depressed.

FERN: Oh no!

PARSLEY: Better depressed than a raging beast! Cheer up, Freddie, Christmas soon!

FRUIT BAT: Have you forgotten me?

FERN: No, Fruit Bat, not at all. It’s just that we’ve been calming Freddie.

PARSLEY: Of course, even Freddie cares for the children, but it’s hard for him, with his condition.

FERN: Yes, Parsley, quite right. Anyone seen the others?

FRUIT BAT: I saw Smokie slink off to the flea market.

FREDDIE: Keep Smokie away from me. He gets me blind.

PROFESSOR PLUM: Interesting. I may research that relationship, Freddie, with your signature?

FERN: Not so fast, Prof. Freddie needs space.

PARSLEY: Quite right, Fern. Now, let’s calm down with tea and cake.

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