A Heart of Flesh

My Testimony of Confusion – Part 2

[This is Part 2 of a two-part series of testimonies on my confusions and the sources of my delusions – Part One can be read here – and in this post I cover the source of my hope: Jesus Christ.]

My journey since recommitting my life to Christ as my Saviour has been a very difficult and strange one. Reluctant to truly follow Jesus Christ as my Lord even though I accepted Him as my Saviour I did, as I look back, end up a wayward lamb increasingly taken in by and deceived by the world.
In many ways I did accept Jesus as my Lord. I knew He is Lord. I now know He is Lord to a whole new depth. What I didn’t do before was act like Jesus was my Lord in the little things. I could make big declarations, big statements of faith, major vows etc. But to actually love my neighbour? To actually deny myself? That seemed too much.

Into Mystery Babylon

I am going to use some Biblical terms in this post. Please, please be aware that I am not making any theological statements as to these terms. I am using these terms as I have understood them as I have journeyed, and am still journeying, out of the deception into which I so grievously fell. I am using the terms as they play a part in my “delusions” and not as a Biblical teaching.

One of the terms I will use is that of Babylon, mentioned in the Revelation of St. John the Divine. It has seemed to me that I have been lost in this labyrinth of Mystery. The music, philosophies, drugs (which I now believe were sorceries) and the worshipping of angels and false gods, have taken their toll and had left me in a perilous state.

Yet Jesus is faithful and I truly believe that He has remembered me; has left the ninety-nine and come to find me and bring me back into the fold. I have been unfaithful, but He remains faithful.

The music has been haunting me – literally! The rap lyrics and other music words have resurfaced in my mind and played on my worst fears. Eminem made me scared to eat spaghetti, my Mum’s favourite meal. The Levellers confused me about apples and Snow White. (I now eat apples again, which I stopped doing due to a “word” I thought I had received, but I honestly don’t like spaghetti so will only eat it if its given to me.)

The sexual sins haunt me. I am tempted to commit filthiness now and again. I feel like a man who has been trapped by a seductress. Yet I resist and am usually victorious in that by the grace of God.

In recent years I have enquired into subjects I had no business enquiring into. Matters of the Illuminati, matters of the world religions, matters of the so-called Pleiadians and Annunaki, matters of the Gnostic religion.

Confusion took hold until I doubted the truth of the Bible. Yet somehow Jesus kept me believing in Him and in His Father, God Himself. Sometimes I have thought of myself as a false prophet teaching error.

The alcohol and drugs have ravaged me mentally, emotionally and physically. I now sincerely believe the synthetic drugs – and all the works of pharmaceutica – to be sorcery. Please note what I said previously: I am not teaching this as Biblical truth. I am giving my testimony of my delusions and confusions. But what I do know is that for me to willingly seek out medication would be against my conscience and against my faith and thus, for me, it would be sin and I would condemn myself even more. I take the agreed dose and do not seek to increase it. I am slowly intending on reducing it and eventually stopping the medication altogether in the Lord’s timing.

I have few comforts the world likes to indulge in; secular music is a no-go area for me. I don’t watch TV or YouTube videos. I don’t listen to radio. Pubs, clubs and shopping centres usually give me the creeps. I don’t drink any alcohol now. Drugs, whether prescribed or illegal, are against my faith.

Marriage is something I don’t need and so choose not to seek and certainly a relationship with a woman with no view to marriage would be sinful to me. Even such things as chocolate I am wary of due to my addictive personality.

So? What’s left? I have Jesus, and He should be sufficient, yet I also must be honest and say I smoke tobacco. I do not regard it as sinful. It is a plant. I like plants – I have two houseplants at home. I drink tea and coffee. No, I do not object to plants. The world tells me smoking is dangerous and yes, I cough. The medication actually makes my cough worse and of the two (tobacco and medication) I prefer to cease the medication before dealing with the tobacco.

Coming off psychiatric medication and dealing with the issues I deal with I cannot face quitting smoking right now, and so, though I have prayed for an end to my smoking at some point, for me right now it is not sinful. I do, however, seek to walk in love and not smoke in front of those who are offended by it, meaning if I have visitors at my flat I go outside or if I am at church I take myself off the church grounds.

The Hope Which Endures

In 1 Corinthians 13 the Apostle Paul states:

Now abide these three: faith, hope, love. And the greatest of these is love.

I am in many ways deranged, unstable and trapped by a number of delusions. Yet all that is changing. The verse I have just shared has been a comfort to me. I have clung on to hope. I have kept faith when I have not been able to see my faith. I have done my best to love even when so confused I can’t always demonstrate it.

And where does this faith, this hope, this love come from? None come from me. Of myself I am incapable of having faith, incapable of hoping against hope; incapable of loving. Faith, hope and love abide in Jesus Christ, the Lord and Saviour. And so, when everything seems lost I cling to Him.

I am still here on this journey. Will I come through and out the other side? I do not know. The odds are stacked against me. “But if God be for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31b) And so I shall continue to trust in my Lord who loved me so much He gave Himself upon the cross and bore all of my sin and iniquity there. “We love Him because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

So whatever happens, my life is in the hands of Jesus Christ my Lord and Saviour, and I shall endeavour to my utmost to deny myself and follow Him as I bear this cross of my many delusions, fears and mental turmoils which have come through my life.

[NOTES: This was written many months ago. Some things have now changed. Notably I listen to certain secular music again for the purposes of healing, knowledge and demon-fighting. Also, I now drink moderate amounts of alcohol. My faith has broadened. My hope become more sure, and my love more profound.]

Testimony of Confusion – Part I

[This was written some time ago and the healing has been slow and tough. Now I am largely recovered yet my responsibilities are now very great as a healer, child protector and church ambassador.]

I am what is termed “mentally ill.” Personally I prefer the term of myself having a mental disorder. The term mentally ill can be a judgemental label and one which, though usually used innocently, can bring connotations of being a condition of someone of less worth than someone who is “totally sane.” Yet a mental disorder is experienced by everyone to one degree or another.

The Eastern Orthodox Church recognises this and classes very few people as “sane.” In fact, sanity is really regarded as the preserve of the Saints and excluded to almost everyone else by reason of our sinfulness and the weakness of our flesh.

Yet it is true that some of us experience these disorders more wildly and with greater ferocity than others and so the world has labelled us – and we label ourselves, too – as “ill.”

Confusion as a Lifestyle

I am confused at times. This is my testimony of a little about how I became confused and how I entered into a lifestyle choice of confusion.
I have always believed in the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ except for a brief period just before and then throughout my teenage years.
Yet there were early influences which fed into the confusion: violence at home, including sexual violence, and then, once retreat had been made to my maternal grandparents a rather blessed childhood even if we as children were rather mollycoddled.

When my great grandmother died my great grandfather, “Grandpa Ralph,” came to live with us. We bought a big house with the proceeds from two houses and had many a happy day there. I was developing some sexual sins, though, which weighed heavy on me and I was disillusioned with school and my fellow schoolmates.

I would discover often in the morning that I ad a tummy ache and so would stay home from school to watch telly (Dangermouse, The Frumps etc.) and would write stories and draw maps like my hero J.R.R. Tolkien did.

The Freemasonry Link

There is another important aspect to my childhood: the link to Freemasonry. Grandpa Ralph was a member of the Freemasons. In my confusions the past year I have thought he made it to the Level 3 Freemason (similar to a level 3 mage in The Gathering, but real and with real-world influence) but all that level 3 business was probably just in my mind. My grandpa’s main concern was the socialising. He was also a member of the local church, an Anglican Church (as far as I am aware the Anglicans are the only denomination of the Christian faith which allows simultaneous membership of the Freemasons.)

In addition he was a journalist, and taught me how the textbooks could not always be trusted. He was one who actually tried to discipline me but I ran to Mummy who told him off (I was about 12 years old then, at a guess, maybe younger.)

Yet one story I have been told by my Nan later has stuck with me. It was about a time when Grandpa Ralph came home disturbed from a Masonic Meeting. He was silent and withdrawn. Later my Nan found him throwing away a shirt and asked him why. He told her.

A ritual had been performed at the Masonic Meal. I won’t go into detail as it has disturbed him, my Nan and myself and that disturbance has to stop somewhere, but this is the essence of it: It was a mockery of God’s word and God’s law.

The Greater Part of my Confusion

My real confusion began in the 90s. Despite having a minor breakdown around the age of 14 I started to dabble in drugs at 17. First cannabis, then I moved on to magic mushrooms and LSD. Then Ecstasy (MDMA).
I became heavily involved in the scene of festivals, nightclubs, all-nighters and the philosophy and music of the 60s, 70s and 90s. Heady stuff. Dangerous stuff.

Confusion hit fully when I was 20. I was admitted to hospital, officially voluntarily – though I felt I had no choice other than to comply – and was put on medication. And thus began an adulthood of insanity to one degree or another. The pills and injections calmed my mind and they helped me survive, but the sins which plagued me – drink, sexual sins, rebellion – were not assuaged at all but rather I now felt little guilt or any fear.

The Journey Out of Confusion

I am now 45 years old. I kept returning to the street drugs and would periodically come off my medication and go crazy on drugs and old ways. This even after I had recommitted my life to Jesus Christ when I was about 22 years old. The medication prevented my feeling of guilt and my fear of God, so why not take the drugs and listen to that old music?

I am now, I believe, on a journey out of this confusion. I shall write about that, along with the dangerous slide into heresies and damnable doctrines, in Part Two of this Testimony of Confusion.

A Strange and Difficult Condition

Mental illness is a strange and difficult condition to understand.

Those suffering from it are often the best at diagnosing themselves, with help from trusted, more mature friends who also suffer from mental distress.

Psychiatric assistance can help. However, given current diagnostic methods (effectively a series of tick-boxes defining an increasing range of human variation) the chances of a correct psychiatric diagnosis is slim.

Supposed help from ignorant family and friends is not only unhelpful, but actually highly dangerous, and can cause suicides, self-harm and unnecessary admissions to hospital.

Parsley Report 13th May 2019.

[Note: The Parsley Report initially appeared on Twitter. It has been transferred to here due to my distrust of the Twitter platform.]

PARSLEY THE LION: Herb research re-engaged!
FERN: Beware Freddie, Parsley!
PARSLEY: Sent him packing.
GREENFEATHER: Nasty brute! A man called his child “Merciless” just after Freddie killed a man in The Ship! He said he was drinking and partying with women when a man had possibly jumped off Beachy Head.
FERN: So Freddie was right to rebuke!
PARSLEY: But he forgot! “Always protect the little children.” Rule number one for us, Fern.
GREENFEATHER: Quite correct, Parsley, and beware the Giants too!

Indiscretion, Comfort and Strength

“The Lord comforts the afflicted and strengthens those in trouble.” – Psalms (paraphrased).

It has become increasingly difficult for me to perform my work here on Heart of Flesh. The Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ should be a source of comfort and joy to all who trust in Him. If there be no comfort or consolation then we should be seeking to address that according to Biblical principles. (see St. Paul’s writings to, I believe, the Romans of ancient times.)

I have been severely indiscrete in my words, especially online, and I have made confession of this to the churches. Many have been harmed by my words, behaviours and discussions. Yet I truly believe, in Christ, that many have been comforted, though I myself am now lacking in many respects. (Often I have come to resent that, yet joy returns and now, increasingly, peace, and the love of the Spirit is growing again within me.)

Music and Magic

Many in the world now place a lot of trust in music. Music is, indeed, beautiful if used correctly. It can calm, comfort and bring relief from pain, especially the emotional sort we see in mental health problems. Yet it can also cause untold harm.

Some, such as a few from my own family and neighbourhood, have suffered enormously from loud music of an abhorrent nature. Yet those days are long past, though my connection with the distressed (both mentally, emotionally and physically) means both they and I feel great pain when the wrong music, substances or spiritualities are mixed.

A confusion can arise when words are misinterpreted. For example, in the Book of Revelation, St. John writes about repenting of “sorcery” (KJV) or “magic” (NIV). I will make little further comment on that here (that is a teaching for elsewhere) but suffice to say that these practices can cause intense hardship for many, especially the vulnerable. (And I myself have had very recent experiences of both.) Music and ungodly spiritualities, as well as violence and substance misuse, all play a part in magic and/or sorcery.

Repentance and the Church

The Church contains secrets. “The secret of the LORD belongs to the LORD.”

Not all are willing or able to be a full part of church life. I know some (very few, though) who struggle at church due to demonic possession, whether presently or in the past. As I have stated repeatedly and verbally, I know those I love in both the church, the World and amongst the mentally ill community. (And I say sorry here to those I have been unable to in person regarding any harms, temporary or permanent, caused by me.)

Many who suffer from mental illness do so due to mental turmoil (often treatable through such practices as mindfulness, meditation or medication, not all of which I agree with) yet some do, indeed, suffer from demonic possession. Thankfully, according to my belief and the belief of many others (in my experience), we are in a time of great healing.

Yet it remains true that the words of Jesus Christ the Righteous Messiah are constant, and He states that “None come to the Father except by Me.” [God is present in Three Persons; Father, Son and Holy Spirit, an Eternal Co-Existence of the Godhead, with Jesus being the fullness of the Godhead in bodily form.]

Moya Brennan and Enya, formerly of Clannad. The theme of Robin of Sherwood, a favourite TV programme of mine own.

Healing and Salvation

The word of God is vital. Yet many now confuse matters by conflating healing with the good news (Gospel) of Jesus Christ. Healing comes through Jesus Christ if it be true. Medications (such as cannabis, properly prepared, valerian, taken correctly, and certain other herbal medicines) can help, as can many spiritual practices.

Others, however, are harmful. I myself have made my repentances and keep to that which I need. Others also have their coping mechanisms. The Truth of God’s Word, the Bible, must endure, yet I personally believe that many should be allowed their own ways of coping.

Demonic Possession and Healing

There are two primary methods of healing (apart from the Teaching of the Word) in the Church: the laying on of hands (corrupted in the past into “faith healing”, an erroneous and dangerous practice carried out by spiritualists) to heal physical ailments, and the casting out of demons. I am untrained and little gifted in either, yet I have practiced “deliverance ministry” to varying degrees of success.”

May the Lord of all Creation; Father, Son and Holy Ghost, bless you and keep you this Day. – Mark H. (of a Heart of Flesh in Truth.)

Warning: Message For US Residents Only

Dear fellow mental health sufferers who dwell in the US, especially those remaining in California.

Please do read my blog but first this warning to you.

According to the ancient wisdom of the Bible where there is bitter envy and strife there is confusion and ever evil work. It also states in the Bible that Jesus Christ cast our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.

The flat earth theory, whether true or not, teaches that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. London and very near to my own residence, along with my current place of both retreat and forbidden work, lies upon or near to the Greenwich Meridian.

I have read yesterdays newspaper reports about the rise of anxiety in Britain of those who are young and use social media. Britain uses a mix of communication methods, many Old World, Some New World (increasingly) whilst those who trust in nature resort to the Eastern philosophies and meditations. These cannot be mixed without dangerous side-effects.

Prescription medications almost invariably mix the two (east and west) through synthesising. This may or may not be safe (see previous testimonies) yet to outlaw and persecute a person for their beliefs and spirituality causes great harm.

The Bible is clear: salvation belongs to Christ alone. It cannot be bought (e.g. through sale of adulterated coffee to young teenagers in the UK) or sold (e.g. through purchasing of additives to tobacco from the east.)

Every person needs comforts and strengths. Blesséd are those who rely solely upon the inspiration of the Holy Spirit of God, through the gist of the Father through the sacrifice of the Son. (The Blesséd Trinity.)

Few, if any, of the mentally unwell can so access such refuge in times such as these, however. That is why I am working after a very stressful night of writing poems, making notes and stealing a little water and the available, yet to me harmful, milk.

I have made promises to return to my earthly home before the weekend yet due to the nature of my host on this short spiritual retreat promises have been made for my return earlier (note, please, that I speak in terms of a fleshly journey by car, not an appearing in heaven).

I have used forbidden knowledge, as my initial testimony shared with a psychiatric nurse confirms, to gain insight into the causes of this dangerous “healing.”

(I saw the TV yesterday. I know who is editing their speeches. I know who is protecting me. I know those who will have access to this message will in some way benefit.)

REPORT OF MY REVELATION, for the benefit of the mentally unwell who dwell in the US. The NHS is a blessed institution and private healthcare damages and destroys those who love life more than money and possessions.

A Hard Day’s Work

Being mentally ill is a hard and dangerous journey.

I do not have the time to relate all that I have been up to this past day – or rather, I have much time but need to be resting and continuing my Bible study. At this present time I am having my stolen dinner 😉 and my borrowed chariot ( https://open.spotify.com/track/2jwQd3JoZk4obcyI18lMY9?si=jE1ylixPR92idPBMyeJp3Q ).

The journey this past day has been full of light and blessing. I received some hard discipline from dear brothers at church yesterday, both in the morning and evening. I am unsure if they realised how hard ot was or how fruitful it may prove to be. Who can truly know but God Himself? As for me I remember my prayer at the beginning of this journey: “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

Mental Illness and Fasting

Yet I suffer from a profound mental disorder. I began an Advent fast according in time to the Anglican calendar but according to strictness closer to a mix of Ethiopian Tewahedo and my own fleshly desires. According to the Eastern Orthodox teaching, the mentally ill are not only warned against the practice of fasting but are also usually precluded (forbidden) from doing so. During my period of Advent fast I spent much time in the psychiatric ward, and the resulting drunkeness on food, distressed souls I sought to help and the holiness of God within me caused great harm to those ill-equipped to cope. Yet my continuing hope, along with an intermittant faith and a love no-one really quite “gets” keeps me going. In short, I depend upon God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit and at times only brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, friends and allies are able to provide for my most basic and vital spiritual and bodily necessities.

The Struggle Within and the Struggle Without

What is your own struggle? Is it to maintain a faith amongst the righteous when you are a sinner? Is it to cope with a self-righteousness which only a brother can nail down rightly? Is it to cope with an indwelling sin or the sins which others have placed upon you? As the Apostle Paul says: “We have been crucified with Christ.”

In his book Slave by John MacArthur he writes:

Slaves of Christ are to be “always abounding in the work of the Lord” (1 Cor 15:58), “trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord” (Eph 5:10), and ever seeking to understand what the will of the Lord is” (Eph 5:17).

Slave by John MacArthur. Copyright 2010. Published by Thomas Nelson

The mentally disturbed can rightly be called slaves of Christ if they routinely confess their sins, seek to “fight the good fight of faith” and remain in fellowship with the brethren within the Church. Yet it is a battle. A huge battle.

Advice, Hope and Limitations Learnt

I was advised by a dear brother and sister yesterday about being careful about what I post online. I have now largely abandoned Twitter and abandoned YouTube, radio and television some time ago due to the temptations and false teachings they brought. Yet I know others can find comfort in those things. So who can truly judge? God, and He alone.

I spent some of the afternoon of Monday with some very ill people. There was a disabled person, some Down’s Syndrome people, some with learning disabilities and some I discerned were truly possessed by demons. Yet there were saints with me, in uniforms and out. Not all who belong to Christ confess Him openly. Some live in catacombs of the shadows. And that is the role of the mentally disturbed people of Christ.

Holiness and the Winding River of Mental Ill Health

We are, according to Jesus Christ Himself and the writings of many – though far from all – of the historical saints, called to live lives to holiness and undefiled purity. This is acheived through the Cross of Christ, yet, as a brother evangelist told me, sometimes this is an up then a down and sometimes a down then an up.

Sometimes for those with ceratin conditions the road is far more narrow and winding: a great river or a narrow stream; one which flows out into the Oceans of Faith rather than leading upstream to the pleasurable springs of pure refreshment. Remember that the rivers and streams and seas were not always as polluted as they are now and the rivers and oceans of the true Faith shall never be full of dead fish and bones but that even the sea shall give up her dead.

The ill, the demonic and the saints I had to leave be. I spoke words of confession to a friend and servant, words of comfort (I hope) to an employee and made and offer to give low paid casual labour in return for their kind shelter they have been and I hope shall continue to offer me.

And I met two true brothers this past day. One openly. One a beautiful surprise which prompted me to remember the poor I had been forced to pass by whilst in town earlier.

To Conclude

I end my day of work greatly blessed, still hungry, still drinking water, tea and coffee and still smoking tobacco (though less now that was the case yesterday). And so, with my confessions and, I hope and pray, my encouragements done, I shall now seek to continue my Bible study.

Spiritual Attack or Godly Discipline?

Image credit: https://pixabay.com/en/sea-sailing-vessel-ocean-sunset-1101168/

The Apostle Paul speaks in his letters about coming under spiritual attack. He speaks in Ephesians about taking on the whole armour of God: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, the feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith and the sword of the spirit. (ref: Ephesians 6:13-17)

Sometimes our trials and tribulations come from this. And yes, we should do battle, not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual wickedness. At other times our distresses come from a discipline for our own sins or weaknesses which need correction, as the Apostle Peter relates in one of his own letters. (I was told on the journey back from evening fellowship/teaching/prayer that this is likely 2 Peter.)

How do we discern between the two? I suspect that the truth is that they both run alongside each other. Every rod of discipline can be taken too far and received beyond its intended measure. This is an attack from the enemy. Not from people – though the wicked shall love to persecute the believers, especially those who are weak and isolated.

If at all possible seek fellowship at these times. Face to face is by far best, though sometimes a phone call or text is sufficient. If worst comes to worst then online communication is still a recourse of action for those with internet access.

Seek out the brethren, seek God in prayer, however faltering your own prayer life may be, seek to read Scripture, even if you are far from an expert in theological matter and Bible study. It can be quite astounding where help coms from if we prayerfully wait for it and remember the words of Jesus and the saints, especially the words of the Apostles recorded in the New Testament.

(Written on the afternoon of the First Sunday of February, edited during the night the first day and the second day.)

Demons – Identification and Casting Out

The matter of demonic possession of persons is a dangerous topic. Even the mentioning of the possibility that someone is demon possessed can bring about judgementalism and condemnation from Christians and non-Christians alike. On the other hand, some parts of the Church revel in their “demon bashing parties” where they verbally and sometimes, though rarely in the UK, physically beat up the suffering and afflicted person so suspected of being possessed. Both approaches are grave errors.

Image credit: https://pixabay.com/en/winter-coach-castle-cold-surreal-589600/

As previously stated, the mentally ill should be treated with compassion where at all possible. In addition, the Orthodox Church – the church branch most experienced and successful in treating the mentally unstable – suggest an extremely gentle approach when it comes to the casting out of demons.

The denial of demonic possession at all is in direct contradiction of the vast majority of the Four Gospels. Those who say demon possession doesn’t exist; that it’s merely a chemical imbalance or a physical disease, are in direct contradiction to the teachings and deeds of Jesus the Messiah.

Identification of Demonic Possession

Discerning if someone is possessed by a demon is fraught with danger. A mistaken identification can cause untold harm to the sufferer of some other condition, even to the destruction of their faith or of a church. 

A non-Christian, or a Christian with their own unresolved issues, might end up being badly beaten or even killed by the demon, which the legal system would them blame on the demon possessed victim rather than dark spiritual forces. Again, untold harm.

The primary thing to bear in mind is that spiritual matters are spiritually discerned. It is this same reason why some think the Bible is full of contradictions: the fleshly mind cannot comprehend the spiritual.

I can, however, point to some signs which may well indicate demonic possession rather than a physical cause or a more benign form of mental illness.

“Illuminati signs” from a person, if they clearly appear to be involuntary, are telling. Such signs are the “devils horns” (the two outside fingers raised with the two middle fingers folded.) The “AOK” or the “6” sign can also be telling if involuntary. The “pyramid” sign also is another as it indicates allegiance to the Evil Eye. 

Other manifestations may be guttural or childish voices (the “Simple” which some mental health professionals actually encourage vulnerable people to connect with!) especially if intermittent; twitches; rolling of the head, especially rolling the head to look with an evil eye and then rolling away again. 

All of these may indicate demonic possession. Certainty, however, can come form only two methods of which I am aware.

  • The Use of the Gift of Discerning of Spirits – A rare spiritual gift these days. Speaking in tongues and prophecy are well known, but the discerning of spirits often goes under the radar even of charismatic churches and is thus not encouraged nowadays, despite its great benefits to church and society.
  • The Testing of the Spirits – Simple tests. Ask the spirit who its Lord is. Ask it where it comes from. Ask it to say “Jesus is Lord.” This must be done with care. Remember, Satan is a deceiver. He is an expert at it and he can make you think he is a sheep when he is a wolf and he can make you think he is calling Jesus Lord when he is really denying him.

Gentleness in Deliverance

Compassion. That is our watchword. Another is gentleness. That is key to driving out demons because we are not only talking to a demon but talking to a suffering person at the same time or, more commonly, we are talking to a demon one moment and a suffering person the next, and then we are talking to a demon again, and so on.

I quoted from Mother Melania in my previous post. Here I quote again:

“The Fathers in general pitied the mentally ill and possessed – and even at times admired them. St. Augustine speaks of the compassion of those who minister to “those whom they greatly love as if they were their children, or some very dear friends in sickness, or little children, or insane persons, at whose hands they often endure many things; and if their welfare demand it, they even show themselves ready to endure more …” (St. Augustine, 1980, p. 25). St. John Chrysostom says, “Physicians, when they are kicked, and shamefully handled by the insane, then most of all pity them, and take measures for their perfect cure, knowing that the insult comes of the extremity of their disease …. If we see persons possessed by devils, we weep for them; we do not seek to be ourselves also possessed” (St. John Chrysostom, 1978, p. 127).

“Chrysostom admires at least some of the possessed because “the demon makes men humble. … Great is the admiration it calls for, and many the praises, when struggling against such a spirit, they bear all thankfully …” (St. John Chrysostom, 1979a, p. 254).

“The Orthodox prayers of exorcism are remarkably gentle towards the possessed person. The prayers are directed to God, or they sternly command the demons; there are no harsh words for the demoniac. In one place, they even refer to the possessed as the Theotokos’s “faithful servant” (St. Tikhon’s Monastery 1999, p. 17).

“This is not to say that all the mentally ill were admirable. In various cases, the godless and the persecutors of the righteous became mentally ill as a result of their evil deeds. However, at least a few of them benefited from their mental illness. Nebuchadnezzar lost his mind because of his pride, but was restored to his senses and gave thanks to God. King Tiridates of Armenia became mentally ill as a result of persecuting martyrs, but later repented and became a saint (commemorated on November 29). In many other stories, though, the persecutors who became mentally ill never showed any repentance. In looking at these stories, though, we have to remember that they are from the “Lives” of saints; the writers were extolling the saints, not talking about mental illness.

“In short, the Fathers did not generally look on the mentally ill and possessed as the worst of sinners, but rather with compassion. At least some of these people seem to have developed great humility and thankfulness to God through their afflictions, and they are to be admired.”

Each case shall be unique. Every person is unique; every demon is a particular case. No single approach will work in every instance. In order to perform deliverance ministry one must be extremely in-tune with the Holy Spirit. Even the Twelve Apostles, all in unison, were unable to deliver one person from a demon and had to wait until Jesus came down from the mountain to do the work, for in that instance, “this kind comes out only through prayer and fasting.” 

Every instance will be a unique spiritual battle where compassion and gentleness are paramount. Few are those who are so equipped to do this in this present day. And if you attempt it blindly or foolishly you may destroy a person’s soul, his body, the church, yourself or those around you. Be warned!